“REBEL
GIRL”
A
special thanks to Civil War historian Bruce Nichols at mapmaker3@aol.com
for sharing this interesting chapter by Mary Stella Hereford Ball,
daughter of Lizzie Powell Hereford, published in the
“Reminiscenses of the Civil War”. Her detailed account of the
turbulent times during her imprisonment includes mention of several
Monroe Countians and county related events.
------------
“In
1861 the storm clouds were gathering over Missouri with almost
cyclonic swiftness and men and women waited breathlessly until the
decision of Missouri’s loyalty or secession was known. Families
and friends were divided here as elsewhere in the states by this
decision. One small Missouri town especially, Palmyra – afterwards
to be made famous by the inhuman massacre of ten innocent men –
was eagerly discussing war news. Even children fought their sham
battles in the streets, young girls and youths held their
enthusiastic, though friendly debates, at evening gatherings, little
dreaming that soon their own lives, too, would become involved in
the great tragedy of the states. Among the belles of the town was
Mildred Elizabeth Powell.
Young,
exceptionally beautiful, cultivated, of high parentage and
distinguished ancestry, she easily swayed her young friends by
reason of her eloquent enthusiasm, her expressive brown eyes and her
ready tongue, which knew well how to employ the heated rhetoric
which was so customary in those days. Her nineteen years had been
spent in Missouri with those who had reared her with extreme
tenderness and affection, and her heart glowed with the loving
sympathy and loyalty to those who had shared her youthful
friendship.
Among
these was a young girl, Margaret Creath, daughter of Elder Jacob
Creath, the great expounder of the tenets of the Christian Church,
then in its infancy. It was while visiting at her home that she
urged her young friends ‘to go south,’ as the _expression was
then used, and join the Confederate forces, and not to listen to the
persuasions of the Union men or their newspapers. Her character was
of so positive a nature and her influence was so great that she
became feared by General McNeil, then commanding the Union forces at
Palmyra, and without warning she was arrested and made a prisoner of
war.
The
great lawn at Prairie Home, the name of Elder Creath’s home, was
one day surrounded by soldiers in numbers, commanded by Colonel
Smart, who requested to see her. She fearlessly complied, but her
spirited answer whetted the anger of her captors, and in a few
hours she was imprisoned, to remain until months later she was
banished to Nevada, then a far-away territory, where
communications with her friends could but rarely be received.
Extracts from her journal at that period of her life will give a
better idea of the oppression and cruelty that she underwent in
her desire to aid Missouri in her struggle for liberty that
anything I can say:
Prairie
Home
Monday,
September 29, 1862.
Rose this morning to find our beautiful prairie in front of our
dwelling overspread with hostile troops who, like the frogs of
Egypt, have covered the land in an hour. Through the day various
privates and officers have invaded the house, demanding mil, butter,
eggs, chickens, turkeys, etc. The command, Colonel Smart’s –
poor Elliott Majors is held by them as a prisoner. Aunt and I
prepared a nice breakfast for him this morning and sent it over by
‘Cuff,’ who found the poor fellow, all mounted, to be taken to
Mexico. Of course, he was not allowed to receive any favor from his
friends or relatives, so some of his persecutors had the pleasure of
enjoying a meal solely intended for poor unfortunate Elliott. I
could not suppress my indignation when I heard the circumstance.
About
six o’clock Captain Poillon, with a guard of forty or fifty, drew
up in front of the house and alighted. A guard immediately
surrounded the dwelling whilst five or ten officers entered, and
upon being called for I went down. Captain P. met me rather
excitedly and commenced a general introduction to those who
accompanied him. I requested him to dispense with this, as it was
not my desire to be introduced to those whose acquaintance I had not
sought and did not expect to cultivate. To this he replied with
asperity, stating with evident satisfaction that his business at
that time was to arrest me. I insisted that the lateness of the hour
would prevent me from accompanying him to Colonel Smart’s
headquarters. However, with him acting under imperative orders, and
being assured I should be returned by nightfall, I reluctantly
consented. Uncle’s buggy was impressed, and I was taken to Colonel
Smart’s headquarters.
As
we approached the camp the soldiers drew up in line for us to pass.
The escort drew up in front of a dirty-looking tent surrounded by at
least fifty dirty, dusty, unshaven, unfeeling-looking hirelings who
commenced gazing and staring in my face as though I was a hyena.
Upon being ordered to alight and enter the tent, I refused, and
after a few sharp words Colonel Smart presented himself – a heavy,
strong, athletic man about forty-five years of age. He addressed a
few remarks to me, told me I was his prisoner, and that my arrest
was designed as a punishment for the many offenses that I had
committed against the government in discouraging enlistment,
persuading my friends to fight against the administration and a
great many other things, to all of which I exhibited the most
profound indifference, and unconcernedly remarked to him as he
ceased speaking that from the beginning of the war in our state the
unprincipled party that inaugurated it had waged it against the
women and children, and that the cries of the weak and unprotected
were more pleasing to his party than the defiance of the brave. He
did not reply to this, but turned and left me. I overheard him
giving his orders to McElroy, captain of the escort, and instead of
allowing me to return home I was sent to a farm house about two
miles distant for the night. “McElroy,” said Colonel Smart,
“take this rebel to Mr. Alverson’s house, now used by our men as
a hospital, and keep her tonight under double guard, as Majors’ me
are in ambush not far off and may attempt a rescue. Tomorrow she
will be taken to Mexico.”
Captain
Poillon also heard every word, and promised to befriend me in any
and everything consistent with his duty. I then asked him if he
would also send word to my aunt to have my trunk in readiness for
the next day’s journey. He promised to do so. My kind friend, Mrs.
Alverson, was very much surprised to see me under arrest, and poor
Lou sobbed outright. Here I met with several Federal officers with
whom I had but little conversation. To all their questions I gave
the most bitter sarcasm for answers that my excited brain could
suggest. Here at tea for the first time in my life I sat at the same
table – but how could I eat – break bread – eat salt – with
the enemies of my country. The house is surrounded by guards, one of
whom has threatened to shoot me. Captain P. refused to send my
message for my trunk. Write a note to aunt and pin it under the
negro girl’s apron and tell her to rise early in the morning –
pass the pickets for the ostensible purpose of hunting the cat.
Tuesday,
September 30. –
Slept very little last night – had such a headache, produced by
excitement. Dear little Lou, with her small, soft hand, would smooth
back the hair from my burning forehead. The parlor is occupied by
six soldiers. Early after breakfast Captain P. came, bringing with
him my own sweet cousin, Irvin, who had gained permission to
accompany me. Captain Poillon continues to annoy me by introducing
Federal officers – among the number is Lieutenant Bradley, who is
to take command of the escort that is to take me to Mexico, twenty
miles distant. Major Woodson has sent letter by us to Yeiser, the
provost marshal. My not was received and my trunk sent accordingly.
About nine we started and for two hours the ride was very pleasant,
but the heat and the air became oppressive, and last night’s
headache returned. Our escort consisted of sixty soldiers, styling
themselves “Red Rovers.” When we arrived at the suburbs of the
city the train halted. The soldiers fell into line, unfurled the
desecrated old stars and stripes and marched us into Mexico with all
the pomp and display as though I had been a Madame Roland. Great
God, can men, calling themselves Americans, take such infinite
delight in waging a war against defenseless women! “Judgment has
fled to brutish beasts and men have lost their reason.” Was
delivered over to the provost, who permitted me to be taken to Mrs.
Walker’s without a guard. The greatest excitement prevailed on
account of my arrest. The house was crowded with friends to know the
cause of such an outrage. Among the ladies who called were the
Misses Larne, whose cousin had been banished to “Ship Island” by
General Butler; also Mr. ------, and my own sweet friend, Mattie
Y-----.
Wednesday,
October 1st.
– Several calls this morning – Dr. Lee, Mrs. L. and others. Hear
several flying reports about myself-annoying because of their
falsity. One charge was that I had been traveling a Confederate spy,
recruiting for President Davis. Have to report by proxy twice a day
to the provost marshal.
Afternoon.
– Lycurgus Batey called; had almost forgotten him in the change of
three years. Sick and dispirited and retire early, but not to sleep.
Thursday,
October 2nd.
– Sent a polite request to provost marshal to allow me the
privilege of seeing poor Elliott Majors, who is a prisoner here
under sentence of death and desires to see me. The rough, crusty
refusal I received brought the tears to my eyes despite my efforts
to the contrary. About ten o’clock an officer came to tell me to
prepare to leave in half an hour for the cars. He brought a buggy,
thinking I would ride with him. I refused to do so, and Mr. Smithy,
a friend, drove me up to the depot, where I met with Lieutenant
Stidger and a number of friends who had assembled to see me off. One
old lady, who was a stranger, came up and seemed very much affected.
Mr. Morris gave me some fine peaches. Cars arriving, bid adieu to
friends and embark with my guard for Hudson City. Met Mr. William
Bowen an old friend, on the cars. Purchase a “Republican”
containing an account of the execution of ten men at Hudson City for
the account of the execution of ten men at Hudson City for the
offense of being southerners who did not regard an oath imposed upon
them to support Lincoln’s administration. Among the number was a
boy of fifteen years, a brave, bright youth, who even at his age had
borne arms in defense of his country. They were shot by order of
Col. Merrill, who, for the dark deed, was promoted to a generalship.
Upon arriving at Hudson City our guard conducted us to General
Merrill’s headquarters. We were duly presented to this
cold-blooded man who, attired in full dress, paraded up and down the
room, his hands crossed behind him, dictating to his secretary. Here
we remained only a few minutes when we were escorted to the “Union
House,” Egleston the proprietor.
Afternoon.
– Sitting reading. General Merrill entered my room desiring a
conversation, remarking that he had never met with an intelligent
southern lady in Missouri. I replied that he had been very
unfortunate in his associations. He said the accusations against me
were that I had discouraged enlistments; was a rebel spy;
corresponded with Price’s army; had proven myself a firm friend of
Colonel Porter, supplying him with ammunition and valuable
information at the peril of my own life. To some of his questions I
refused a reply. He assured me I should soon be released and that
every courtesy should be extended me which my position in society
entitled me to receive. Professed to be very much interested in my
behalf, complimented me highly, amounting even to flattery. I
assured him, under the present circumstances, I did not feel
disposed to receive his sarcasm or his flattery, whichever it might
be.
He
remained nearly an hour, and after tea Cousin Irvin and myself were
seated playing chess when he again entered. We spent some time
discussing religion, politics and war, differing materially upon the
two last-mentioned subjects, and kept up quite a firing of grapeshot
and shell in the form of words. Spent a very unhappy night, having
no fastening to my door and feeling myself entirely among foes. The
Union Aid Society had a dance in the dinig room just under my room.
The old general invited me politely to participate, which, of
course, I refused with some indignation to do.
Friday
3rd.
– After breakfast we had another game of chess. General Merrill
breakfasted at 11, then came in to inform me we would continue our
journey in one hour. Says our destination is Palmyra, and that he
will send an officer as a guard for his “fascinating captive,”
and says I should have been Union – that he would be proud to know
that I, with my intense feelings and devotion to a cause, was
numbered among the loyal ladies of Missouri. Great Heavens – how
preposterous the thought that I could identify myself with those who
marked their pathway through my native state with despair and gloom.
With Queen Catherine I can say, “Is it possible for me to love the
enemies of my country and my liberties.”
Cars
arriving at one, Lieutenant Easley present himself to accompany me,
and proves quite a friend and quasi-southerner – gives me a copy
of Edgar Poe to read and proposes assisting me in escaping to
Illinois, which proffer I refuse, telling him I belong to a party
that never runs. Reach Palmyra at 4 o’clock. The lieutenant kindly
assures me he will not report me till morning, so that I may rest
one night without a guard. Take rooms at the National Hotel and
order my supper in my room. Landlady, Mrs. Reider, very kind, and
thinks I am a Union lady, sister of Lieutenant Easley; consequently
tells me of the arrest of Miss Creath, and that a young lady friend
of Miss C. was also under arrest and was expected hourly; said she
had heard General McNeil say they would be held as prisoners till
the close of the war. I humor the joke by an attempt to play Union
and learn by it many little things that will prove of interest to
me. Mr. Clay Vivian of Paris and cousin spend the evening in the
parlor with me. Clay V., traveling under an assumed name, is making
his way to Richmond. Retire to my room and sink to sleep to the
measured tread of military beneath my window.
Saturday
4th.
– Awakened by the bright sunlight streaming in at my window.
Breakfast in my room, after which Cousin P. came in and talked with
me until the landlady announced Lieutenant Easley in the parlor
desiring to see me. Went in and found him waiting to escort me
before Colonel Strachan. Went with him with much reluctance and had
the humiliation of being introduced into a room filled with
gentlemen. Yet it did not require much time to discover that most of
them, like myself, were prisoners. Colonel Strachan, a low,
red-faced man, with small, keen black eyes and dark hair, brown
whiskers and drew up a chair for me in close proximity to the one he
had occupied. I bowed politely, took the chair, placed it some
distance from him and took a seat. With a frown he resumed his
writing at the table – occasionally remarking to a prisoner:
“Stand up here, sir. How many horses have you stolen,” etc., at
the same time casting sidelong glances at me, with a look of
triumph, to know he had me at last in his power. He had been making
the threat – now it had been executed.
Remained
in his office nearly an hour, during which time several lady
applicants presented themselves for passes to see friends in prison
– most of whom were refused in such a heartless manner that my
heart swelled with indignation, and the contempt – supreme disgust
– I felt for the soulless being manifested itself in every reply I
was forced to make him. After a spirited discussion of the
circumstances by which I was surrounded Lieutenant Fuller of H-----,
who rejoiced in the position of a subofficer in the militia, made
his appearance with a band of bleached muslin encircling his hat –
I suppose to designate his rank – and I was ordered to go with him
to the house of Elder J. Creath, to keep company with his
notoriously disloyal daughter. Just at this moment my friend, Rufe
Anderson, opened the door and exhibited great surprise in seeing me
and requested the privilege of taking Mr. Fuller’s place, which
was refused, Colonel Strachan remarking, “Mr. Anderson, Miss
Powell has the honor to be at present under military surveillance,
and you are not a military man,” but added, “You can walk with
her if you desire, in company with the lieutenant.” We returned to
the hotel, where I called the landlady, informed her that I had been
her prisoner, and had been sent by the colonel to keep company with
my particular friend, Miss Creath. The surprise the old lady
exhibited was highly amusing. Poor Sister Mag, how fearfully
imprisonment tells upon her delicate frame. She was almost beside
herself with joy to know we were not to be separated. At tea time
the house was surrounded by a guard. Sister Mag and I spent the
whole night in conversation.
Sunday,
October 5th.
– Spent most of the morning in reading my Bible and in
conversation. In the afternoon Mrs. Pittman and Mr. and Mrs. Smith,
who are the only ones outside the family we are permitted to see,
came out to see us, and bring no very encouraging news to us, as
they think we are here for the war. The dark clouds that have been
rising in the sky all afternoon begin now to dissolve themselves
into a slow rain – a dreary, chilling rain – almost enough to
sadden the heart of anyone, much less a prisoner’s.
Monday,
October 6th. –
Guards still stationed around the house, carefully watching every
movement. My friends see General McNeil and make an ineffectual
attempt to have me paroled. Colonel Strachan absent in H., trying to
collect evidence against us. About 10 o’clock an officer, calling
himself Lieutenant Moon, came up to station guards, called for me,
and when I appeared pointed to his dirty-looking men and told them
to know their prisoner, to look at me well and know whom they had to
guard. I felt frightened for a moment, but it soon gave place to
indignation, and I said, “Yes, take a good look. It may not be
often that you see a lady – a real live rebel – besides, I have
the power of assuming a great many forms. One day I may metamorphose
myself into a bird of passage and will take my flight.”
Sister
Mag and I agree to read three hours a day, play chess two and work
one, commencing with the History of the Bastile. One of the guards,
styling himself Thos. Allen, boasts that he was a spy in General
Green’s camp in July. I make an attempt to bribe him and find I
could succeed if I desired. Poor, indeed, is the prospect of such a
cause when such unprincipled creatures are relied upon to sustain
it. Beautiful moonlight! We site and sing, and then retire dream of
“Home, Sweet Home,” and freedom once more.
Tuesday
7th.
– Spend the morning reading and playing chess. Hear that poor Tom
Sidener, who was captured in Shelby county, is here, confined in
this loathsome prison. A great many other southerners are also in
that unhealthy jail waiting exchange. According to the proclamation
of General Halleck, they were to be exchanged in three weeks if they
would give themselves up. But the weather grows cold and the leaves
are falling, the only protection from heat or cold that those brave,
noble boys have known for months; willingly sacrificing personal
comfort rather than become the slaves of these cruel tyrants who
infest our state. After we had retired I had a note from Colonel
Strachan saying he would call the next morning.
Wednesday,
October 8, 1863. –
A dark, dreary day. Wake with no very pleasant reflections. Begin to
realize that I am, indeed, a prisoner. The day passes as usual, with
work, reading and writing. In the evening Colonel Strachan came,
bringing with him Major Cohen, a former acquaintance. Went into the
parlor and quite a sharp, bitter discussion ensued. Agree to with
Colonel Porter a cartel for the exchange of horses. Colonel Smart
tells me the sentence of “banishment” is passed upon Maggie and
myself, confining us to the northern portion of Indiana till the
close of the war. He promises to remove the guards if I will give
bond for my appearance.
Thursday,
October 9th. –
Dear Mrs. Pittman has called and promises to see Colonel Strachan
and try to have the sentence of banishment revoked. O Heavens! Is
this the “Land of the free and the home of the brave?”
Friday,
October 10th. –
Clear, bright and beautiful overhead but muddy underfoot, and a
bleak fall wind sighing and moaning through the yellow-tinted tree
tops. Write some letters and lay them aside to await an opportunity
to get them to the office. Our friends see Colonel S., and find him
determined upon banishment to Indiana. Maggie and I join together
and write an appeal to General Merrill, requesting him to have the
sentence revoked or delayed until we could have a fair and impartial
trial.
Saturday,
October 11th.
– The day lovely, calm and bright – a strange contrast to the
many scenes of carnage and bloodshed enacted before its close. Mrs.
Agnes Smith called and we stole down to see her. Mrs. Thompson sent
Maggie a beautiful bouquet of rare flowers by the underground
railroad, and among the buds we found a little note secreted
expressing the heartfelt sympathy extended us by the dear southern
people of Palmyra.
Sunday,
October 12th. –
Mr. and Mrs. S. and Mrs. Pittman came out – brought late papers
and some nice grapes for the “poor fettered birds,” as they
styled us.
Monday
13th. –
Just two weeks a prisoner – feel the effects of confinement and
loss of freedom. Maggie and I are left alone today, and in the
afternoon disguised ourselves completely and went down street to the
dressmaker’s; only made ourselves known to Judge Redd and one or
two good friends.
Tuesday
14th.
– Unpleasant dreams woke me early today, and upon looking out of
my window behold the face of the sky covered with clouds. A chill,
dreary atmosphere prevails and warns of the sad approach of the
“sere and yellow leaf.” God grant protection to our
noble-hearted soldiers exposed to its chilling rains and frosts.
Every hour of my life I am more forcibly impressed with the
hardships and sufferings they undergo for the sake of liberty. More
especially do I sympathize with those who, like myself, are
prisoners.
Afternoon.
– Sister Em
and Charley with Laura C.came up. They applied for a pass to see me,
but were refused, when they determined to come anyhow. So they did,
and oh the joy it occasioned to see the loved ones from home. They
stayed but a short time and had to hurry back to the cars. How sad I
felt to see them leave for H. without accompanying them. Irene
Pittman and Nannie Willock came out to see us, accompanied by the
officer of the day; had to converse in his presence. Heard that
General Merrill was under arrest for the murder of those men.
Wednesday
15th. –
Commenced reading the “Talisman.”
Thursday
16th. –
Day passed without anything of interest occurring.
Friday
17th. –
This afternoon received from General Merrill a reply to our letter
in which he says we should not seek “immunity when made to suffer
the penalty of our crime anywhere in the Federal Union.” Answered
in a manner we expected, consequently not disappointed. Hear at the
supper table that ten of the poor, persecuted prisoners now confined
in the Palmyra jail tomorrow at one o’clock are to be shot. Some
time since Colonel Porter, in the capture of Palmya, arrested and
carried away with him Andrew Allsman, a spy and reporter. A notice
was promulgated by Joe Winchell allowing ten days for him to return,
and alleging as a penalty for his nonappearance the execution of ten
southern men. The time has expired and he has not returned, and
General McNeil has already issued the death warrants. Great God! I
cannot realize that I hear aright. Surely ‘tis but a repetition of
their cruel threats – so often made against those who dare oppose
their vile, polluted deeds. Mr. Kennedy of Monroe calls and assures
us that it is too true, and – O Heavens, can I write the word? My
poor, dear friend, Captain Sidener – the noble, brave, bright
youth, the handsome, dark-eyed southerner, the dependence of
helpless orphans – is one of the fated ten.
What
sleep is there for my red and swollen eyes tonight? What rest is
there for this poor burning, bursting brain? Sister Mag and I, with
arms locked closely around each other, pace back and forth our
lonely room, sobs only disturbing the silence. Then occasionally we
kneel and pour forth out burdened hearts in prayer. The sound of the
saw and hammer are plainly heard, and the light at this late hour in
yonder casement bespeaks the preparation being made for the living
dead. What must be the thoughts of those poor, doomed beings tonight
– no sweet sleep can fold her balmy wings around their hearts –
no sweet thoughts of future meetings with the loved ones at home to
come to cheer them. O, my soul! Lift, lift to God thy strongest,
purest prayer for help in this trying hour. O, may the thunderbolt
of His wrath fall upon those wicked murderers and save the lives of
the innocent and the good.
Saturday,
October 18, 1863.
– Such a lovely day in Indian summer. Ah! It seems that more
appropriately Nature should be clothed in sadness and her face
bedewed with tears. Yes, she, too, should weep. Too many tears
cannot be shed for these, the good, the brave, “who go forth
strong in life and come not back to us save with the dead.”
Grandpa Creath has gone over to talk and pray with those poor,
distressed victims. O, that I might sleep till the dreaded hour be
past. A large number of women have gone this morning to General
McNeil, and almost on bended knees begged that the sentence be
revoked, but all in vain. He is lost to all feeling and is almost
unconsciously drunk.
Ten
O’clock. –
Grandpa has returned, and exhibits more emotion than I ever saw him
manifest; his eyes are red with weeping, and he says never – no,
never in his eventful life – has he witnessed such a scene, and
with trembling hands clasped earnestly, his gray “eyes sheltered
in their lids,” prayed heaven to spare him from such a trial
again. He visited them in their dark, loathsome cells, and the dear
creatures threw themselves into his arms and pierced the heavens
with their shrieks, their payers and lamentations. Eight are young
men, in the prime and vigor of life, and oh, it seems so hard to
yield to the cruel tyrant monster’s decree. One o’clock is the
hour appointed for their execution. My brain runs wild, my blood
seems frozen in my veins, my very heart seems pulseless.
‘Tis
over! The dread ordeal is past – and ten noble patriots have been
hurled into eternity. At half past twelve o’clock they passed
through the city sealed upon their coffins and waving a final adieu
to friend and foe. Women rushed out in front of the procession and
prayed for mercy, which was denied. Mrs. McPheeters, whose own
nephew is one of the condemned, prostrated herself before General
McNeil and prayed him, if he expected mercy at the throne of God, to
spare, if but for a few hours the dear lives in his power to save.
‘Twas all in vain; her petition was unheeded.
Arriving
at the fair grounds they were seated upon their coffins and a
bandage to bind their eyes offered to each, which was promptly
refused. After prayer by Rev. Rhodes, they were ordered to kneel to
receive their fate, to which Captain Sidener replied: “I kneel to
none but my God.” The command to “fire” was given by Ervin,
and 60 shots were fired at the defenseless brave. Two fell
instantly; the remainder, though almost perforated by bullets, still
manifested signs of life. Observing it, the fiends rushed upon them
with bayonets and drawn swords and butchered them in a most horrible
manner. My poor friend, Tom Sidener, was among the latter. He
bravely bared his bosom to the shower of leaden bullets and
requested them to aim at his heart, remarking to a friend near him,
“We will meet again; my home is in heaven.” They died like men
– like heroes – like martyrs!
One
of the condemned had a wife and six little children. She pleaded
long and earnestly with General McNeil to spare his life, and upon
being denied, sank in convulsions at his feet. A young and noble
boy, about seventeen years of age, who had just arrived that morning
to visit a brother in prison, was so affected by the scene that he
stepped boldly forward, and, lifting his hat from his forehead,
remarked to McNeil: “Sir, if you are destitute of all feeling, I
am not. Receive me as a substitute for her husband. True, I am
young, and life has many charms and ties to bind me to it, but I
have not a wife and six helpless babes.” The noble sacrifice was
accepted, and that great heroic heart perished with the others. “O
Father, forgive them! they know not what they do.”
‘Tis
a calm, beauteous twilight that is now stealing gently over the
earth, yet a pall darker than Egyptian blackness has settled over
the hearts of the people. From our prison home we can see the
residence of Mrs. Boswell beautifully illuminated. Upon asking the
cause we are told that a large party is given there tonight in honor
of the perpetrators of the foul deed which has plunged, not only the
city, but the whole country, in despair and gloom. “O woman, with
a devil’s purpose and an angel’s face!” Why seek to encourage,
by your base approval, the crimes of men who are aiming deathblows
at the heart of the Constitution which you pretend – falsely
assert – you love?
Sunday,
October 19th.
– How calm, how beautiful the day! Yet what heart can feel
enlivened by the voice of nature when ten dear southerners are to be
hurried away in their rude coffins, their heads pillowed upon pine
shavings, to the final resting place of the dead? Hear from Colonel
Porter that he has crossed the Missouri river at Portland, Callaway
county.
Monday,
October 20th.
– Sent today to procure a lock of Captain Sidener’s hair, which
was dark, long and curly. Joe Winchel, Editor “Courier,” in
describing his dress and appearance at the time his execution,
remarks: “We were forcibly reminded of the beautiful but misguided
Absalom.”
Tuesday
and Wednesday, 21st and 22nd.
– Mrs. Pittman brings us “Frank Leslie.”
Thursday
23rd. – Wave
today at 150 prisoners who are sent to St. Louis. They responded in
cheers, waving their hats. A Federal officer grew indignant and
called out to us pettishly: “Give them God’s blessing and pray
they may never return to disgrace their country again.” How my
heart ached to see them go, knowing that before the winter is ended
many of that noble band will fall victims to the horrible diseases
that infest their loathsome prisons. Hear that Colonel S. is
removed.
Friday
24th, Saturday 25th, Sunday 26th.
– Three days pass without bringing an incident worthy of notice.
This evening the chaplain of the regiment took the liberty to call
upon grandpa because he was a minister. Sister Mag and I gave
“Major” a quarter to unhitch his horse, which the little darkey
did, showing his ivory at what he considered a capital joke.
Monday
27th. –
Hear that General McNeil says we are not to be taken out of the
state; says he will decide our cases today. A funeral takes place
this morning, Mrs. Hoskins’ son.
Tuesday
28th, 1862. –
Maggie and I are alone today and revive old memories of Cousin
Mortimer and dear Capt. R.E.D., their many trials, their cool
daring, and our sympathy, hopes and fears.
Wednesday
29th, Thursday 30th.
– Days pass gloomily away in a prison when not permitted to see
friends, to receive a letter or write a note. Nothing of interest
occurs sufficient to be recorded. Life grows as tedious as “a
twice-told tale.”
Wednesday,
November 12th. –
A note was handed me slyly today from home. How strong a desire it
awakened to be with them once again, visiting – free and
untrammeled – with my friends and breathing again the pure air of
God’s universe. Sister M. and I have concluded to put our heads
together to effect our release or escape.
Friday,
November 14th. -
All day my brain has been bent upon some plan of escaping, if only
for a few days, from our monotonous prison life. Miss Nannie calls
and thinks we can get a parole for a few days.
Afternoon.
– Get Grandma to accompany me to General McNeil’s headquarters.
How I shrink from appearing before such a man asking a favor. Down,
down pride! Let me be politic, for a few minutes at least, when so
much depends upon it. Have some misgivings, not having any
permission to leave the house, and expect to be sent back under
guard. See General McNeil, who expresses surprise at my boldness in
coming out without being bidden. I tell him that I demand a trial;
that I have waited seven long weeks for him to decide our case, and
ask him to release us altogether. Upon being refused, ask him to
parole Maggie and me for one week to go to Hannibal. He granted our
request, adding that he was pleased to grant me a request or favor;
that he did not suppose prisoner was a lady possessing the superior
qualities he had found, and his greatest desire was to see me love
my country. I replied, “General McNeil, I am devoted to my country
and her cause, as my present surroundings indicate.”
Started
from grandpa’s at 3; went up Main street and met several friends,
all surprised at seeing us. Waited at depot some time for the cars.
Met Miss Muldrow and sister. Joe Winchell came in and eyed us with
round-eyed wonder. Reach home after dark; find Laura C. awaiting us.
Sunday
23rd. –
Receive a few calls.
Friday
28th. –
An officer and two privates came twice today to search the house for
Lieutenant Boles, who has made his escape from jail. He was under
sentence of death, and fortunately they have not yet found him.
Great God, shelter and protect him from those who seek to destroy
him!
The
snow is falling rapidly and has already covered the ground some
inches. ‘Tis the first snow that has fallen upon the graves –
the new-made graves – of those ten noble champions of liberty. May
it rest lightly upon their bosoms! The “Times” today contains a
demand for the head of their murderer, John McNeil, purporting to
come from President Davis.
Monday,
December 1st. –
Get Grandma Creath to see Colonel Strachan to ask if we were not
released from confinement by the late order of the War Department
relating to political prisoners. His answer was, if we had repented,
become loyal, and would take an oath to that effect, he would
release us. Grandma was highly insulted by his manner towards her. I
wrote him a pithy little note this afternoon which I suppose has
settled all doubts upon that subject, telling him I am as loyal as
any faithful subject can be to the best and most superior man that
ever graced a presidential chair. Perhaps it was injudicious –
imprudent; but death is preferred to a cowardly, craven spirit that
will uncomplainingly submit to every indignity. Mrs. Pittman and
Mrs. Smith went to see Colonel Strachan in regard to our release;
found him in the dept surrounded by prisoners and Federal officers.
He was reading my note to the crowd, and was highly incensed at me
for what he was pleased to term my “sarcastic, bitter letter and
impudence.”
Thursday
4th. –
Irene and Nannie got permission from McNeil to call on us. Nannie
gave me photograph of President Davis.
Sunday
7th. –
Ten long weeks since my arrest. Grandpa went yesterday to secure the
interference of Colonel Benjamin in our behalf. Were it not for
Sister Mag my heart would break. We are devoted as the “Siamese
Twins.” What a sad fate to fall into the hands of such despots!
May their reign be short!
Tuesday
9th. –
Sister Mag and I played another good joke on our tormentors. Dressed
ourselves in disguise and went to Mrs. A’s, where we met Mrs.
McPheeters and spent most of the afternoon. When we get home find
Mrs. Thompson, Irene and Nannie Willock had stolen out to see us and
to bring us some late southern news. Town in excitement about
enrolling, and the jail is crowded with poor southern men who refuse
to comply with their requirements.
Wednesday
10th. –
My imprisonment becomes almost endurable. All health, appetite and
energy seem to have forsaken me. Poor Maggie is sick in bed and is
suffering intensely. She cannot bear to feel that I am sick, sad and
unhappy, and the kind-hearted creature makes every exertion to make
me contented and happy.
Venture
once more with grandma into the detested presence of McNeil. He was
quite polite and has granted me leave of absence until my shattered
health is restored. Says if I will take the oath I shall be released
entirely. I promptly refused, telling him plainly I had rather die
in prison that to perjure myself before God and man. He was profuse
in his compliments and expressions of admiration. Spoke of the
murder he had committed, and I shuddered at the thought, which he
observed; said I must consider him inhuman and barbarous, and I
frankly replied that I did. A dark scowl crossed his features, and
he proceeded to write a “leave of absence” for me.
Thursday,
December 11th. –
Prepared for home. I am instructed by General McNeil to consider
myself still a prisoner, and that my prison is only changed. I am
also required to report twice a week to him by letter. At four the
cars came, and after bidding grandma and dear Maggie an affectionate
farewell, grandpa and I went down to the train. Arrive in H –
about five and find my trunk is left behind. Found Mr. Tom Henson
here. All were pleasantly surprised to see me and supposed at first
that I was released.
Sunday
14th.
– Heard today of the repulse of the Federals at Fredericksburg and
the removal of Burnside. Thank heaven! Victory still perches upon
our banners. May the names of the noble dead that perished there
Fill memory’s cup to the brim;
May the laurels they won never perish,
Nor a star of their glory grow dim.
Monday
15th.
– Amanda B—n brings out her album of Confederate generals. After
tea stole out to Mr. Foreman’s prayer meeting. Meet with Sallie G.
and Mrs. T., who come home with me.
Tuesday
16th. –
Jennie M. came today and sang “Officer’s Funeral” for me.
Thursday
18th. –
Mite society met here tonight. Every room crowded. Laura says all
night.
December
31st – New Year’s eve. Go
over to Mrs. H’s and receive three letters. One from dear M., who
received her unconditional release the 26th. One from
General Merrill, giving me the preference of banishment to Indiana
during the war or remain in prison in Missouri. The other from
Colonel Strachan telling me I was released. How joyously the tiding
was received and how guarded I must now be lest by work or deed I
offend these supercilious, female-persecuting dignitaries of our
land. Like a bird when set free from its prison home, it sits for a
moment as if afraid to unfold its trembling wings for flight, lest
it is by some rude hand thrust again in its cage, so I sit,
perfectly stupefied, inactive, desiring to flee from my persecutors,
yet knowing not what course to take, what plan to adopt.
New
Year’s Day. – All
hail, thou new-born year of ’63! May peace, sweet peace, spread
her gentle wing over our distracted country before thy days are run!
May the states of the South take their places among the nations of
the earth, and before the dawn of ’64 may the South be
acknowledged a free, independent power!
Receive
several calls from gentlemen friends and enjoy the day because I am
once more free. Form the acquaintance of Miss Zadie Bagwill of St.
Louis.
January
4th.
– Charlie H – comes out for me to assist dressing cake for the
supper tonight in Brittingham’s – a supper given ostensibly for
Fire company No. 2, but in reality for the benefit of the southern
widows and orphans. I cannot refuse anything pertaining to an act of
charity for those I love. Eunice Eddy and I succeed in trimming
cakes and arranging tables nicely. Nothing will do the boys but my
attendance this evening; they will receive no excuse. Promised Mr.
R—d to attend with him. He has been banished to Illinois, and
allowed to return last week by orders from War Department. Meet with
Mr. T.D. Price, provost marshal, who solicits an introduction and
passes several compliments; refuse for the reason that I do not wish
to devote the evening to entertaining a Federal officer.
January
6th. –
Meet with an important rebel today at church, a nephew of Joseph E.
Johnston. Was introduced by Miss Zadie. Long may he live to enjoy
the glory he has so richly deserved.
January
--. Answer
Maggie’s letter, and also write to General Price and mail one to
General Merrill. Zadie came to say “good-bye;” she is going home
tomorrow.
January
14th. – Sitting
today reading to sister when an officer came to order me to report
forthwith to Provost Marshal Major Price. Do not feel well enough to
leave my room, yet go down with Mrs. Bowen to hi office. Shows me an
order of banishment, requiring me to leave my native state in
twenty-four hours to return no more “during the war.” Major
Price tell me if I refuse to obey the order I am to be again
imprisoned. Show him my release from McNeil and demand the cause or
reason for this change of action. No satisfaction was given me
except that it was for no new offence that I was again under
military arrest. ‘Tis, I feel, an illegal, personal persecution,
instituted by Major Price himself, because I refused an introduction
to him. He paroles me to the limits of sister’s yard.
January
17th. – Brother
Wilks came out today to confer with me and to offer his Christian
sympathy.
January
18th. –
Hail glorious Sabbath! As I sit at my window watching the crowd of
passers-by, winding their footsteps to the house of prayer, how
sadly my heart throbs in my bosom to think of the many long weeks
and months I have been denied the blessed privilege of taking my
accustomed seat and mingling my voice, as I once did, in their sweet
songs of praise. My dear little Sabbath school scholars take every
opportunity to assure me that I am missed. Will there be a prayer
breathed for me today? Will one sigh be heard for my cruel fate? Ah,
yes; I know I will be remembered by the “faithful few” among
whom I have so often met. Spent most of the day in reading my Bible;
the Psalms are my selection now, because they are so sweet and sad,
yet withal, so comforting.
Mr.
R—y and Mr. Richmond called, kindly bringing me books. Amanda B
came to say good-bye, as she leaves tomorrow with her mother for St.
Louis. Mr. H—n and John T—spent the evening. We never know what
a host of warm friends we possess until the dark storm of adversity
beats upon us. Poor J.T. says he wishes he might suffer in my stead.
Monday,
January 18th. –
Receive another order to report tomorrow morning at nine o’clock
to hear my fate. All advise me to refuse banishment from my friends
in the severest months of winter and my present ill health. So I
know my doom will be a second incarceration. My poor old father
placed his thin trembling hand upon my head this morning when I
finished reading him the order, and with tears in his eyes remarked:
“My daughter, trust in God.” O Father in heaven, Do I not, have
I trusted in Thee through the saddest trials of life, and has Thou
turned a deaf ear to the many heartfelt prayers offered for the
success of right over might.
Thursday,
January 20, 1863.
– Wake to find a heavy, wet snow upon the ground, and poor head
almost bursting with pain. Directed a note to Major Price requesting
him to call if his business was imperative, as the weather and ill
health would prevent obedience to his commands. At noon he came,
somewhat indignant, and said he would place me forthwith under
guard. Brother Willie offered himself security for my appearance if
he would permit to remain until my health was restore, but he was
persistent, cruelly persistent, and demanded my appearance at his
office at three o’clock. Says I am to be placed under guard in
solitary confinement in a room at the Continental. Poor sister is
almost frantic, yet tries to suppress her grief in my presence. My
little niece – my little motherless pet – stole in a few moments
ago, and winding her soft arms around my neck, whispered through
sobs: ‘Aunt Lizzie, will not those cruel men let me come and stay
with you? You can take little Bobbie – he is a prisoner, but he
will sing to you.”
Six
O’clock. –
Alone, all alone in my prison room at the Continental. Methinks I
caught a glance of pity and sympathy from the landlady, Mrs. Short,
as I passed through the parlor. Major Price is from Massachusetts,
and I can expect no favors. Oh, I should hate myself if I asked one
at his hands. Twilight deepens, and I sit alone – sad but not cast
down – listening to the measured tread of the armed and
savage-looking German guard at my door, which is the only sound that
disturbs the stillness.
Wednesday,
January 21, 1863. –
Opened my door this morning to ask a knife of the guard to sharpen
my pencil. Was struck to recognize in him a friend of other days.
Frank Jackson, a brother to one whom I once loved as devotedly as a
sister. O war! With all thy attendant evils, what can be more
maddening than to find former friends changed to deadly foes. How
strange to see that slender boy dressed in the uniform I so much
detest standing guard over one whom he once professed to love and
respect so kindly.
Emma,
sweet pet, and Katie B. came – I could see them from my third
story window – said they had been three times to Provost Price to
see me, but he will not giver her permission to so do. Little Arthur
H. came to the door and asked the guards if he could see me. The
guard opened the door and permitted the little fellow to look in,
but would not allow him to speak to me. He brought me some nice
yellow apples, and I could see a tear in his brown eyes as he turned
away. He is just six years old. When he grows to be a man will he
remember this scene in his early life? Will he, can he love and
respect the flag that was waved over imprisoned females – over the
ruins of our temple of liberty. Heaven bless the boy! How my heart
warms towards those who show a kind sympathetic part when in
distress.
‘Tis
twilight, the close of another lonely day in prison. How eagerly I
listen to each footstep passing my door, wishing, oh so fondly, to
hear a pause before my door and some loved one would enter. What
would my poor R.E.D. think, away in his sunny home in the South, if
he knew the sad circumstances that surround me. I sit by the window
and strive to forget my sorrows in gazing down into the street upon
the motley crowd hurrying towards their different places of abode.
So many all bound one way – each heart a mystery to the other and
each a little world to itself. Today the enrolling officers have
been trying to enforce Order 1001, and many southern men refusing to
enroll their names with those whom their souls detest are, life
myself, prisoners.
Thursday,
January 22nd. –
Today sister, Mrs. Wilks, Mrs. Robards, and other friends applied to
see me, but I presume it was in vain, for sister waved at me from
the street and shook her heard, indicating her ill success. My
Bible! Sweet, hallowed book! – whose sacred pages a mother’s eye
hath scanned, what a treasure art thou now in my lonely hours. How
consoling are thy precious words. Yes, it is thy page that record
the sweet promise of my Saviour to His sorrow-stricken children,
“Lo, I m with you always, even unto the end of the world.” And I
know He tempereth the wind to the shorn lamb and heareth the young
ravens when they cry. He, too, hath said, “Let not your hearts be
troubled.”
Friday,
Janurary 23, 1863. –
Gave the guard money to buy me a paper and some reading matter, but
he replied Major Price had given him his instructions that he was to
let me have no book or papers to assist me in passing away the time.
How fortunate then that I brought a volume of Walter Scott and my
Bible with me. In my Bible I can always find something new. Tonight
new guards are stationed, and they all have to take a look at their
prisoner. One is a Dutchman, the other is a fine looking man. He
seems kind and sympathetic, and I overheard him say he would perish
sooner than load his gun for a woman; that he would rather be a
prisoner with a thousand men to guard him than to engage in the
unmanly act of persecuting me. When the evening wore on and he was
left alone, he slipped a note under my door. I picked it up and
read, “Young lady, you are not unknown to me and I am a friend.
Tomorrow they expect to take you from this house, wither to a
dilapidated hotel in S. Han. or to St. Louis. If I can be of service
to you do not fear to trust me.” How my heart beats. Can it be
that I have found a friend in this horrid guise, or is he seeking to
betray me. How my brain whirls; how can I leave my home and my
friends and be thrown in those miserable prisons in St. Louis, to
suffer with cold and die, perhaps, with those infectious diseases
that are hurrying away the poor victims there by the hundreds. No, I
will refuse to leave this city, and if I have to go it will be by
physical force I am taken.
Saturday,
January 24th.
– My guard, in whom I found a friend, has been removed and a raw
Dutchman fills his place. Before he left he threw a Harper and some
late papers into my room. He was an editor in Fulton, knew R.E.D.,
and published hi key to the “Emanant.” He was also nine months
in Price’s army, and upon the margin of the magazine was penciled:
“Think not I am here by choice – far from it – and tomorrow
morning you will hear that with six others I have made my escape. Be
of good cheer. You are effecting more for our holy cause in you
cheerless prison than a dozen recruiting officers could do.” O, I
would I had trusted him to mail some letters to my friends. Do they
not know how soon I may be forced from them. The Dutch guard I heard
this morning wishing that I with all the d—n traitors was in
h—l.
Later.
– O, what an unexpected kindness I have received. How my heart
bounds with gratitude too deep for words to speak. Tears will force
themselves into my eyes and my heart bounds with emotions unknown
before. I have friends, thank heaven! That was been demonstrated
even in my solitary prison – I knew this morning when the Dutch
guard was relieved, yet I knew not who took his place, until my door
was quietly opened and friend W—l spoke to me. A note was thrown
hurriedly in, the door closed and the calm, measured step renewed
before my room as before. I read hurriedly: “Lizzie, poor girl,
you are to be taken tomorrow to St. Louis; refuse positively to go,
and tell them that they will have to use main force to take you. You
have many friends and sympathizers who are groaning beneath their
oppressions and your own. Tonight at nine open your window and lower
from it anything you may wish to communicate to friends. Persons
will be present to receive them and also to send up to you letters
and money. Be cautious for the sake of heaven, as the safety of
yourself and friends depend upon it.” That was all, and the key
has turned gratingly in the lock. A low conversation in the hall
denotes the return of the guard.
Afternoon.
– The guard let poor little Arthur H. look in at me today. How his
bright eyes and sweet face cheer me, and he looks up into my face
with a look of such sweet, childish innocence and pity that it
reaches my heart. Boy, may thy young heart, like Albert Tell’s,
early learn to love truth and freedom next to life. Major Price sent
back my letter today because I had not “left it open to his
inspection.” ‘Tis night once more and I wait impatiently the
hour of nine. I have written two letters and several notes, made a
long line of yarn, the only string I had about me; I have tied my
letters in a hankerchief with a little apple to give it weight to
descend quickly.
At
8 o’clock Mr. Armstrong came to say I was to prepare to leave my
present prison. “Where am I to go, Mr. Armstrong?” I asked
pleasantly. “It is not necessary for you to be informed. All you
have to do is to obey orders,” was his reply. “One thing is
certain, Mr. Armstrong,” I answered, “I do not leave here this
night.” At this he laughed in my face with a defiant air, remarked
he has the means, the men and the power, and he would tame at least
or subjugate one rebellious “South Carolinian.” Uttered in the
spirit of a true black Republican, whose ambition, patriotism and
bravery aspires no higher, I replied “than to shoot unarmed men
and imprison defenseless women.” He wheeled and left the room,
closing the door violently after him and turning the key with a
hurried hand upon me. What am I to do? To Thee, O God, I turn and
pour forth my burdened soul in prayer.
Nine
O’clock. –
Mr. Armstrong handed me a note from Major Price which read: “Owing
to the lateness of the hour, Miss Powell is excused from obeying
orders tonight. Tomorrow morning she will hold herself in readiness
to leave at eight o’clock as her presence her is disagreeable to
the loyal inmates of the Continental.” A few minutes after Major
Price came in. Oh, how much solicitude I feel for the safety of my
friends who are doubtless waiting to assist me. Major Price said I
had done right in refusing to leave; that he admired and commended
me for it. Charged me with trying to convert one of the guards, as
he with six others had deserted and would be shot if captured. Said
he did not wish me to have papers or books with which to employ my
time. That he desired to punish me so severely that I would be glad
to obey the order of banishment – that he had refused at least a
dozen friends the privilege of seeing me, and that my confinement
was to be as solitary as possible. I do not remember now what I said
to him, but I know that he left me with a burning cheek and
remarked, “Miss Powell, if every man that fills the southern ranks
is actuated by as much principle and devotion to the cause as
yourself, I would always love and respect the South. Would that our
ladies were half so zealous in their country’s cause.” After he
left I blew out my light and sat in the window. Waited a few moments
only till I heard a well-known voice in subdued tones whisper,
“All is right.” In an instant almost my package was lowered, and
in a few minutes more I drew another up – a number of notes and
letters and a roll of “greenbacks.” My dear friends, how
sincerely interested they appear. Mr. H. has gone to St. Louis with
a petition to Governor Gamble to have me released. Judge P. has
written to Major Rollins and J.B. Henderson in Washington to have
the freedom restored of which I have been so unjustly deprived. To
know we have friends fills the heart with gladness, even in a
prison.
Sunday,
January 25. –
The occurrences of last night seem almost like a dream, and I would
persuade myself that I have been dreaming did I not find closely
grasped in my hand unmistakable evidence that it was indeed a
reality. How many causes I have this holy Sabbath for thanksgiving
and prayer. At eight Mr. Armstrong called again and informed me for
the present I would be taken to R.R. house to await an order from
St. Louis requiring my presence there. I pronounced myself in
readiness, and after descending two flights of stairs I found myself
at the parlor in which were assembled officers and their wives, and
as I passed on, closely followed by the Dutch guard, I heard
whispering, laughing and clapping of hands. At the door a closed
carriage stood in waiting. Mr. Armstrong handed me in, stepped in
himself and closed the door, and we moved slowly off, the guards,
with their guns at charge, marching along by the side of the
carriage.
Arriving
at the R.R. house, I found again the windows filled with heads, men
and women congregated to see a live Secesh. I wore a bonnet in
southern colors, and, passing through the crowd, I threw aside the
veil which partially concealed them. This house bears the reputation
of an asylum for run-away negroes. My room, with no fire, no carpet,
very, very small, with but one little window, presented such a
cheerless appearance I felt my fortitude forsake me, and when I
heard the savage-looking Dutchman turn the key upon me I could no
longer suppress the tears that seemed choking me. From my little
window I could see the Mississippi, the Father of Waters, a stream I
have always loved, and feel an emotion of pride that my home has
been so long beside its waters. It is forcing its way along towards
the mighty gulf with a calm, quiet, resistless freedom which the icy
breath of winter has not checked. O, friend of my earlier and
happier days, as thy waters which I now see fast receding from my
view lave the shores of the sunny South, bear upon thy bosom a
message to the brave hearts there that upon thy bank stands a
Lincoln bastile in which is pining one whom they hate and scorn
because she has dared to love the brave and desires to be free.
‘Tis
night, O heaven, how can I sleep upon this horrible bed of straw,
these offensive, dirty, greasy quilts, these hard pillows of straw.
My brain seems a ball of fire, my hand trembles so I can scarcely
write, a strange, wild feeling seizes me, and I pace back and forth
this gloomy room until it seems if the uncarpeted floor were not
iron it would bear the imprint of my footsteps for ages to come.
Monday,
January 26, 1863.
– O, what a long, sleepless night I have passed. The guards,
drunken and infuriated, made several ineffectual attempts to enter
my room, and had it not been for small bolt I had fastened over the
lock their efforts must have been effectual. Finding they were
defeated, I could hear them heaping their curses upon me and
planning to come in through the window. I was almost speechless with
fear – to cry for help would have been but mockery when there was
no arm to save. I sprang upright in my bed and kept that position
until daylight. O, how I welcomed the first rosy tints of morning
that peeped with cheering light into my little window.
Two
O’clock. –
Great heavens! I have had another return of that horrible hemorrhage
which caused my life to be despaired of when at school. I am
perfectly prostrated and the crimson tide of life continues to rise
in my throat and mouth without abating. My hands are coorless as
marble and it is with great effort I clasp this pencil in my
trembling fingers. O, to suffer so and be alone. No kind, cool hand
to rest upon my burning brain, no one near to breathe a kindly word
of sympathy. No one has entered my room since nine o’clock, when
the chambermaid brought my breakfast – a cup of cold coffee, some
fried mush, codfish and potatoes – and left my room with a curled
lip and many airs because I could not eat.
Sent
a note tonight to Major Price requesting a physician, as I feel a
great deal worse as night approaches. O, how can I spend such a
night as the last. The landlady came in about three o’clock
bringing me my dinner, which I found impossible to eat. She is
German, and sat down a few minutes by my bed, drew from her pocket a
large Dutch pipe and filled my room almost to suffocation with the
smoke. From my window I can see a boat has landed at the depot, the
first boat that has ventured this far for some time. A woman with a
babe – I suppose a passenger – has been assigned to the room
adjoining mine. Through an aperture in the wall, made for a
stovepipe, between us I heard her inquire of the chambermaid why the
guards were stationed in the hall. Shortly after the chambermaid
left her she peered through the aperture into my room. Supposing it
was curiosity that prompted her to see who the young lady was, I
glanced up at her, then turned my head away. She spoke my name in a
whisper and indicated by her gestures that she wanted to speak to
me. I felt almost too weak to stand, but by supporting myself with
the bedpost I stood up almost face to face with her. She commenced
by assuring me that she was a friend; she had just returned from
Alton prison, where she had been to visit and sick son confined
there, and, added she, “The mean cowardly treatment the poor
fellow received there, the intense suffering I witnessed during my
short stay, has caused me to make a solemn resolve that henceforth
and forever my humble means, my life, is dedicated to my country’s
cause.” She then remarked if I needed assistance as far as she
could she would render it. How I thanked her in my inmost heart as I
sank back almost exhausted upon my couch of straw. In a short time I
had penned a note to father telling him how I was situated, also one
to another friend in Palmyra. These I gave her with the one I had
written to the President. If she should betray.
Tuesday,
27th.
– Pa came this morning and had received my note. O, my dear father
– it has been many, many months, and even years, since I saw him
so much affected so broken-hearted as he seemed the fifteen minutes
allotted him to stay. How his pale lips quivered and his hand
trembled as he stood by my bed. Price had given him a pass, but had
refused to allow our family physician to accompany him. Sister sent
me some dinner and dear Mrs. C. sent me “brandy peaches,” of
which she knew I am so fond. ‘Tis evening again and my illness it
seems increases. Sent for the landlady her husband, Captain Gillett.
The Captain seemed moved with compassion when he saw me, he could
scarcely control his voice to speak; said he would have given me a
room with a carpet and every accommodation, but Major Price would
not permit. Captain G. sat down and wrote a hasty note to Price,
telling him to send a doctor immediately. In about an hour Dr.
Duffield, our family physician, came; says I am very sick and need
constant care. The landlady at my request takes the key tonight from
the guards.
Sunday,
February 2nd. –
Four days have passed since I recorded my thoughts and feelings upon
the pages of my journal. Dr. D. says that I have been very low, but
now danger is past if I take good care of myself. Received a note
today from Major Price, accompanied by a box sent to me from
Palmyra. The note said that he was determined still to make me obey
the order of banishment and that he would make my prison
unendurable. Hoped I would see the propriety of yielding implicit
obedience forthwith. I replied that it was impossible to do so, and
that I would endeavor to bear patiently and heroically any measures
his heart prompted him to enforce. Tonight he came himself, seemed
surprised to find me so weak, thought my illness had improved my
appearance as it had given me a “helpless, dependent, patient air,
which he desired to see depicted in my face.” Repeated again his
threat that if I did not consent to leave and said he felt convinced
that close confinement would kill me. I begged him long and
earnestly to let sister visit me some times until I recovered, but
he obstinately refused. Said he would remove guards until I grew
better.
Mrs.
Gillett has grown very kind to me; takes care of my dear little
bird, “Robert Lee.” She brought her brother, a Mr. Selleck, in
to see me. He is a Democrat and could not find expressions too
bitter to apply to those fanatics who would persecute a woman.
Friday
30th.
– Captain G. and lady came in this evening to request me to
instruct them in chess. He took his first lesson and seemed
delighted. A captain’s wife sent me a glass of cider.
Sunday,
February 9th. –
Mr. Selleck sent me by his sister the “Caucasian” and “The
Times” to read today, the first papers I have seen since my
illness. How drearily the time passes with no one to talk to but my
little canary.
Monday
10th. –
Captain G. and lady came again and we had a stolen game of chess.
Captain G. has been negotiating with Price for my release, which he
has said can be effected by taking the oath. Refuse again to
forswear myself.
Wednesday
12th. –
Mrs. Selleck sent me Ballou’s Magazine and a Democrat. Major Price
told me he had fully intended sending me to St. Louis, and might do
so yet, but for present I was to remain where I was. Said I was much
more comfortable than the prisoners in Richmond, confined in tobacco
warehouses and in Libby prison. How I detest the man! Seemingly so
devoid of feeling and everything that pertains to manliness.
Thursday
13th. –
How swiftly the weeks seem gliding by. Would that I were free to
enjoy them as they pass. A buried life, I suppose, will be mine for
years if the fettered spirit does not burst its prison bars and
basks in the light and freedom out under the sun. A light snow has
fallen and a sleigh containing two friends passed my window this
morning. A handkerchief was waved in token of recognition and away
they whirled, the merry sleigh bells dying away in the distance like
a fading dream, reminding me of the days that once were free and
joyous and my heart kept time with their merry music. Mr. Selleck
sent me a little present with a note, and no one can tell much a
little kindness is appreciated under such circumstances. He pitied
my loneliness and relieved it all he could. Sent a note to Brother
Wilks.
In
their part of the long war the southern women proved themselves
glorious heroines in many ways, though I think but few of them were
actually made prisoners of war. When banished my mother was
accompanied to Nevada by her devoted brother, James Powell. She was
the only white person of her sex in the large territory, and at
first she suffered greatly from fear of the Indians, who were so
numerous and many of them hostile. Eventually she learned their
language and made many staunch friends among the red faces. Here she
instituted the first Bible class, reading to those rough miners who
had come to seek gold in the mountains of Nevada. At first this was
but a handful of men sitting under a great pine, but eventually this
gentle and eloquent woman read every Sunday long portions of her
Bible to hundreds of men who had pitched their tents near the mining
center of Virginia City.
It
was here that she met my father, Alfred Powell Hereford, a young
lawyer practicing in the active little mining town. They were both
descended from Col. Levin Powell, a hero of the Revolution, but were
not aware until many years afterwards of the distant relationship.
They were married in Virginia City in 1864, where one child was
born, Jennie, who died in infancy. They moved to St. Joseph, Mo.,
after the war, where one daughter, Mary Stella, was born, now Mrs.
R.E. Ball of Kansas City, and four years later one son, William
Richard (W.R. Hereford is prominent in social and literary circles
of Paris and New York, and is the author of several popular books
– as well as being contributor to most of the leading magazines of
the day.)
Her
health, impaired by her long imprisonment, would not stand the
Missouri climate, and on the advice of her physician, my father took
her to Denver, Colo., where they were both prominent in that rapidly
growing city. My mother, of an extremely religious nature, here
again exercised her influence and organized a small body of
Christians, who called a minister and thus founded the first
Christian Church of Denver. She was greatly beloved by all who knew
her, and was interested actively in the politics of the day. She was
instrumental in establishing the Red Cross Society, then in its
early growth, and was the close friend of its founder, Miss Clara
Barton. In returning from a drive with Mrs. John B. Routt, the
Governor’s wife, the horses became frightened, throwing my mother
from her victoria to the curb, thus giving her the wound which
resulted in her death November, 1877.
Her
loss was greatly deplored, as she was actively associated with the
charities of the town and its hospital, and her sympathies for the
poor and unfortunate were very keen. Their stories always had a
ready ear. My father never recovered from the shock of her death,
and survived but two years. Her life was particularly blessed in
that she ministered unto such numbers. Her aid was far-reaching and
her influence widely felt, her interest in all whom she could help
keenly alive. Her whole life was full of tragic, interesting, vivid
and thrilling experiences, all resulting in the supreme good of
those associated with her – but my article dwells only upon the
incidents of war. She was a daring youthful prisoner, and her zeal
for the cause militated against her, and sometimes in after years
she would laughingly cross swords with my father, who was an equally
loyal southerner, but whose uncle, Gov. Henry Foote of Mississippi,
had defeated Jefferson Davis for that position of honor, she
claiming she would have entered the field against so fine an
opponent.
In
my possession I hold scores of original notes, commands from leading
officers, and a small Confederate flag, fashioned in prison from
bits of ribbon, and showing the infinitesimally small stitches for
which I believe the southern women, taught from babyhood to be
skillful with fine needles, almost as a hall mark of gentle birth,
are unequaled in their perfection. Her lineage, unexcelled, bears no
part here. Her actions show she was “to the manner born.” Her
life, tense and full as it was, was brought to a tragic and terrible
climax, being suddenly killed by runaway horses while returning from
one of the many errands of mercy she accomplished during her short
life.”
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